Family law

Prenups, name changes, and marriage paperwork

Short version: a prenup is enforceable when three things are present — each party has their own attorney, both sides make full financial disclosure, and the agreement is signed with enough lead time before the wedding to remove any duress argument. A template downloaded from the internet and signed at the rehearsal dinner is the unenforceable version.

Do you even need a prenup?

Most couples don't. State law already supplies default rules about what happens to money and property if a marriage ends. A prenup is for couples whose situation deviates from the defaults in ways they want to lock in. Common reasons to actually get one:

• Significant asset disparity between the two parties at the start of the marriage
• Business ownership the parties want to keep from valuation or division on divorce
• A second or third marriage with children from prior relationships
• Expected inheritance the couple wants to keep as separate property
• One party assuming the other's substantial debt that they want to limit liability for

Reasons people sometimes cite but that aren't really reasons:

• "Just in case" — without specific assets or facts, the paperwork doesn't have anything to lock in
• "Because everyone gets one now" — they don't; most couples don't
• "Because my family told me to" — possibly, but only if your family's reasons match your situation

What makes a prenup actually enforceable

Most US states have adopted some version of the Uniform Premarital Agreement Act (UPAA) or its successor the Uniform Premarital and Marital Agreements Act (UPMAA). Both center on the same elements:

Element	Why it matters
Each party has their own attorney	Without separate counsel, voluntariness becomes contested
Full financial disclosure (sworn schedule of assets, debts, income)	If one side hid something material, the agreement is voidable
Signed well in advance of the wedding	Last-minute signings invite duress arguments
No unconscionable terms (e.g., total support waiver, child custody pre-determination)	Courts can strike unconscionable provisions; child-custody clauses are not enforceable in advance
Properly executed per state law (notarized; sometimes witnessed)	Procedural defects can void the entire document

The conversation to have before drafting

A prenup forces a financial-honesty conversation many couples avoid. That conversation is often the most valuable part — more than the document itself. Cover:

1. Every asset and every debt each of you has, with actual dollar figures
2. Expected inheritance, gifts, or family transfers — and whether you intend to keep them separate
3. What happens if one of you stops working to raise children
4. What happens to a home one of you owned before the marriage
5. What happens to a business one of you owns
6. What each of you considers "fair" if the marriage ends

If this conversation goes badly, that itself is information. Better to surface those disagreements over hypotheticals now than over reality later.

Routine marriage paperwork

• Marriage license — issued by the county clerk in the county where you'll marry, generally valid for a fixed time before the ceremony
• Officiant signature — the officiant signs the license after the ceremony and returns it for recording
• Certified copy of the marriage certificate — order extra copies; you'll need them for the steps below
• Beneficiary updates — retirement accounts (IRA, 401(k)), life insurance, payable-on-death bank accounts
• Estate planning basics — at minimum: will, healthcare directive, durable financial power of attorney

Name change checklist (post-marriage), in order

Start with Social Security. The Social Security Administration's name-change page is the authoritative source — it's free, and almost every other system reads from Social Security records.

1. Update Social Security (free; do this first)
2. Update state driver's license / state ID (your state DMV)
3. Update US passport (per the State Department passport name-change page)
4. Update bank accounts, credit cards, employer payroll
5. Update voter registration
6. Update car title, deed, lease, mortgage
7. Update beneficiaries (insurance, 401(k), IRA)
8. Update professional licenses, school records, utility accounts

Frequently asked questions

Can we draft our own prenup from a template?

A template can be a useful starting draft to clarify what you each want. As a final signed document without separate attorney review and proper financial disclosure, it's typically much weaker than its drafters expected when they actually need to enforce it.

What about a postnup (after marriage)?

Postnups are recognized in most states but generally harder to enforce than prenups because the legal "consideration" analysis is different. If you missed the pre-wedding window, a postnup is still possible — talk to a family lawyer in your state.

Do prenups have to be reciprocal?

They should be substantively balanced, even if the practical impact differs because the parties' starting positions differ. Lopsided agreements (one party gets everything, the other gets nothing) are the most commonly challenged.

Sources cited on this page

• Uniform Law Commission — Premarital Agreement Act
• Social Security Administration — Change name
• U.S. State Department — Passport name change